ALCIBIADE's attempts.

This is translated from something I wrote months ago. I don’t know if it makes sense, but I wanted to share my passion for the Simposio and I hope that someone who hasn’t still read it, will do it.

I added some things since I now have Hannibal’s references to use.

 

I need to write about the Simposio. Especially about one specific part I read with a smile on my face and, sometimes, laughing like mad. Not because it’s funny, because it’s told with enthusiasm and abandon, like a sweet and beautiful fanfiction by Alcibiade.

The Simposio is a long dialogue between friends who gather together after a meal. They don’t watch a football match or the Big Brother, they don’t scroll their Iphones, no, they talk to each other.

They’re all philosophers, orators, professionals whom words said in that particular moment are reported by Platone.

Well, who knows if that really happened, who knows if Platone remembered to report each and every word… But who cares? The concepts in there -all of them- are the things I based all my life on.

So, they decide not to drink wine like pigs, just to remain sober and talk. One by one they praise Eros, because they feel it's a deity too overlooked by poets and cantors.

I can’t summarize here all the amazing things they say about love and homosexuality -sad to think that some shitty people of today are progeny of those minds- but I want to tell you about Alcibiade and his moves to seduce Socrate.

 

Socrate is the rock star of philosophy; they all want him, they all praise him and there’s a long line of men all in love with him.

But ouside that world he is hated and feared; in fact he will be prosecuted and sentenced to death at the age of seventy. I mean… Leave him alone, let him die of old age. No, they needed to kill him.

In my opinion to kill a man like that is one of the worst crime you can commit, so I hope they still pay in Dante’s hell for what they did.

 

Anyway, in the Simposio, Socrate is the last one talking about love.

After his speech they applaude, they do the wave and they want to kiss him, but they try to restrain themselves.

A knock at the door, who is it?

Agatone, the host, asks his servants to answer the door. If they’re friends, they can come in.

How do they recognize friends, you ask?

From how much drunk they are.

It’s Alcibiade and he wants to take part to the party.

The flutist and other people go to support him because he is full of wine. He has ribbons and a flower crown in his hair (like a Fannibal). He enters and shouts:  I’m drunk like an ass! Can I stay here and drink a little more?

Yes, why not? Come and have a sit. You’re such a mess…

He sits down without even looking, hoping to sit near Agatone, because he is the host and also a good looking guy, but near who does Alcibiade sit?

Socrate!

Heaven forbid!

Drunk and shameless, Alcibiade starts talking about Socrate.

First of all Alcibiade accuses him to always be in places where he thinks he won’t find him.

Socrate listens without speaking. Alcibiade is a nice show.

Alcibiade goes on saying: You sit near Agatone because he is beautiful! You didn’t sit near Aristofane or someone else!

That’s imply that Aristofane and the others are ugly shit.

Socrate is offended and asks Agatone to defend him and says to everybody that Alcibiade is a stalker and that he is so in love with him that he doesn’t want to see him near another man.

He can’t take his hands off of me!  says Socrate -and you can hear from his tone how much that upsets him-  I fear his passion and his furious love. Defend me, Agatone.

Socrate is paralysed by fear, you can sense that too.

Alcibiade relaxes on the couch near Socrate. They ask him to praise Eros, instead he manages to praise Socrate.

He starts by comparing Socrate to the satyr Marsia, talented flutist who -Alcibiade’s words-  needed to use the talent of his mouth (yes, that’s it) to charm men, while you, Socrate, only need your words. (This is so Hannibal)

Alcibiade doesn’t stop there, he declares all his love for Socrate: When I listen to him my heart goes boom, I cry, my soul is disturbed and upset, because I’m his slave.

Alcibiade says that, while talking to Socrate, he often felt like there wasn’t a point in his life. Socrate made him feel bad for all his failings in life, so he ran away to not wait for old age beside Socrate.

He means that he would end up old before Socrate gave him some satisfaction.

In fact Alcibiade adds that sometimes he wants to see Socrates disappear from the earth, but if that happens he will be in despair.

Can’t live with him can’t live without him

Isn’t that love? Isn’t that an upset heart?

And now the best part of his monologue.

 

Alcibiade and all his moves to seduce Socrate.

Told to us without any concern for his dignity.

I love him.

 

First of all Alcibiade points out that Socrate likes young and beautiful guys and he loses his mind for them.

Alcibiade says that to let his friends know that he doesn’t make things up, he had a chance with Socrates because he is a beautiful guy too.

He says that Socrate’s soul is full of great things and he couldn’t do anything else but listened to every word he said. So that Alcibiade thought, I’m going to seduce him, I’m going to give myself to him and learning new things. I don’t know how that works but Alcibiade thinks it’s possible. At least that’s the excuse.

 

Alcibiade starts sending away his servants every time he is with Socrate to make a move on him.

Socrate is stone cold.

Alcibiade sadly says After spending an entire day with me, he went away.

Alcibiade asks Socrate out on a date in a gym.

He is happy and thinks If we wrestle and nobody is looking…

He really uses the suspension points. Alcibiade must have seen some serious porn movies.

Anyway, Socrate is as stubborn as a mule.

Not a step forward! exclaims Alcibiade.

Then Alcibiade decides to use force with Socrate. He says Since I was in the middle of my feat, I didn’t give up, I wanted to see how it went.

To him it’s a feat to enter Socrate’s bed, I want to stress that. I love this man.

Alcibiade invites Socrates for dinner, in the best traditions of invitations with ulterior motive.

I serve you dinner (Ortolans maybe) and you give me something in exchange, honey. If you’re lucky I’ll let you see my gods’ cards collection.

Socrate plays hard to get, for a long time he refuses, then, one day he goes to Alcibiade’s.

The first time Socrate leaves Alcibiade’s home after the first bite. Alcibiade doesn’t have the courage to stop him, poor thing.

The second time Alcibiade makes him talk -Socrate has Hannibal’s problem, you let him talk and he never shuts up- When it’s late Alcibiade says to Socrate: It’s late. Do you want to go home now? Stay, I have a bed.

And Socrate stays.

At night, each one is in his own bed. Alcibiade’s feat starts.

 

This is what happens more or less.

Alcibiade (nudging Socrate): Are you asleep?

Socrate: No, I have to be on the alert because I pretty much understood what you’re up to. And you just nudged me so, no, I’m not asleep, dear.

Alcibiade: Do you know what I’m thinking?

Socrate is probably aware and he is able to list each and every one of Alcibiade’s thought at that moment, but he acts innocently and answers: No, I don’t. What’s that?

This is pure genius.

Alcibiade: Socrate, let’s be honest. You’re the only lover who is worthy of me, and it’s easy to see that you want me (Well, yes, that’s pretty obvious, right? Alcibiade has some nerve). It’s stupid to say you NO, I’m going to say YES, so we save time, ok?

Socrate kills him with words. He practically says that in that exchange Alcibiade would be the lucky one, but he says it so that Alcibiade can understand what he wants and keep doing what he wants. In fact Alcibiade goes to lie down near Socrate, in his bed.

Socrate: And I thought I was clear enough…

I hugged this demonic and extraordinary being all night long Alcibiade explains (I mean, DEMONIC and EXTRAORDINARY. Hannibal), I worked so hard to get him, but he was adamant and refused my youth. Next day I woke up and it was as I had slept with my father or my brother.

Alcibiade is adorable!

After that, even if hurt, Alcibiade couldn’t help to feel respect for Socrate’s willpower.

Socrate is a man you can’t corrupt with money and, Alcibiade finds out, you can’t corrupt him with sex.

However, already taken, Alcibiade can’t help to be near him because he needs his company.

At the end Alcibiade praises Socrate a little more and then makes a list of all the men Socrate refused, because nobody minds his own business in that house, and he says to Agatone: Dude, don’t wish for something different. Socrate will do the same thing to you.

The funny thing is that when Alcibiade ends his speech there’s a minute of silence and then everybody laughs like mad.

This is hilarious because it’s like they’re saying to him: Well, Alcibiade, you sure got over Socrate’s refusal. Congratulations!

To make things worse, Socrate adds: All of that just to make trouble between me and Agatone, because you’re jealous? Agatone! Don’t listen to him!

And Agatone goes to lie down next to Socrate to mark his territory.

Alcibiade: You’re terrible, Socrate. At least let Agatone stay between you and me!

No, not even that satisfaction.

Alcibiade’s last words: When Socrate is around, you can’t get anything done with beautiful boys.

That's it, I joked as always but not so much.

Back then I read the Simposio right after season 3 and I felt a lot better. I remember I also wrote about Socrate's death after reading Apologia and Fedone and it came easy to compare Hannibal to him.

Socrate's death sentence was a crime. To lose a man like that was a crime.

And I think that even after everything he did, also killing a man like Hannibal (the Hannibal of the tv show) is a loss. Even if he wasn't in love with him, Will would never kill him. Will would kill them both, but not just him.